WHY DO YOU FEAR FAILURE?

As a growing young lady one thing that I dislike doing is standing for quiz competitions. During my first year in College, I was asked to represent my hall of residence with two other colleagues for an inter-hall competition but sadly I had to opt out because I was afraid. Why was I afraid? My problem was that I feared failing. I felt I could not do it and I might let my people down. Mind you, I knew exactly what to do, I could answer almost all questions but fear of failure made me opt out. Funny enough on the day of the competition, whenever a questions were asked, I will answer it correctly in the crowd while those contesting couldn’t so at some point in time my friends even got upset with me as to why I refused to contest. The same people I was afraid of letting down are now upset with me for not contesting. Sometimes my own ego, the need for validation from my family, the perception of people and the fear of not getting it done perfectly derails me and stalls me from taking opportunities.

This is the case of most people out there. We are afraid of failing. As a result, we fail to try things anew or undertake daring feats. Fear of failure is also called atychiphobia. It is an irrational and persistent fear of failing. Sometimes fear of failure can be as a case of something we have experienced before and other times, it can be as a result of mental health conditions like depression and anxiety.

Often times perfectionist do encounter fear of failure. Perfectionist set high unrealistic expectations that might make them experience a nagging fear that they might not achieve the unrealistic expectations.

Fear of failure can lead to emotional, psychological and physical deformities which in the longer run can retard the effective functioning of the human mind and body. People who fear failure are likely to be characterized with depression, anxiety, rapid heartbeat, trembling, shivering, etc.

Why then do humans fear failure?

LOW SELF-ESTEEM: Most people fear failure because they do not know their worth or value. Such people believe they do not possess the necessary skills or requisite knowledge needed to undertake an adventure. These people are usually entangled in inferiority complex and low self-esteem.

SELF-PERCEPTION: Again, some people fail to try things anew because of what others think of them. These people base their self-image and self-perception on how people see them hence they will not attempting anything that will others see them as failure. Most times false self-confidence prevents people from taking action. A person with a flimsy self-confidence will like to play it safe than try something new. In this case also, others may be you very good, intelligent, perfect and higher so in order not to distort the image they have of you, you will try to play it safe than taking the risk.

PAST EXPERIENCE AND TRAUMATIC EVENTS: Aside the above mentioned, some people fear failure because of a past experience and a traumatic condition. Many people fail to try new adventures because they have failed in the past. Others were also socially bullied. For instance, they were never allowed to render presentations before their comrades, they were mocked for doing something the incorrectly and sabotaged.

CHILDHOOD AND UPBRINGING: Sometimes, fear of failure stems from childhood and upbringing. People have been brought up with damaging mindsets. They were brought up with certain rigid rules that made them do nothing on their own. This makes them to feel the need to constantly ask for permission, approval and reassurance before they do something. This to a large extreme, makes them carry the need for validation into the adult world. Such calibre of people do not feel smart in their own way and anything they will do or they do, they need the approval or validation of someone to say “Do it or what you’ve done is great.”

PERFECTIONISM: Perfectionism is another factor resulting to fear of failure. Perfectionist think failure is embarrassing and humiliating. They set very unrealistic targets that makes them feel they can’t achieve such targets so they don’t try it.

To conclude, nobody likes failing and it is factual that fear is a part of human nature. However, when fear of failure becomes strong, it can be limiting which may require a great motivation to get on track. Do not get shut down when things go incorrectly, not as planned. In my next article, we will discuss how failure limits you, how you can use failure to your advantage and how you can overcome the fear of failure. Stay tuned.